5. The Dark Sun Shine

Every thing, every human notion is so self-explanatory when you realize what that person is going through. You have to just stop thinking from a single frame of mind and start thinking otherwise. Each and every person has the capability to understand. Ignorance is quite the opposite. In times of distress or pain, you look for means to resolve the emotional conflicts inside you even if that something is unnatural, or uncanny. I am no different. My ignorance was deceptive to my sense of understanding which makes me regret nothing as I am at peace with my notions and for what it were.

I could still hear them rumble, the clouds. I remember the night, clear as day, and the feelings, like a tempest. Every one has that moment for when they break for the very first time. That night was mine. Now I know what it feels to be completely shattered and worn out. After all that time, all that heart-ache and all that headstrong, I found my sun. Although it was a dark one, it was tempting. Considering my atheist beliefs, there was no evil darkness or almighty light and my nyctophilia led me to sink in this Dark Sunshine. She was always there; she was always appealing and captivating but I held back. Today, it felt as if I was giving into this Dark Sunshine, forgetting what I was loyal to in the past. My wounds are still healing; scars, still fading… but this audacity to be ripped off all over again is intriguing. She is passion. She is hunger. And that is what she brings out of me. Somehow, what once I thought of light is now just a word-sake and somehow, this newly found love for Dark Sunshine is what I wished to be in, always.  

In my younger years, I read a lot. One of my inspirations was the author called John Green. In one of his novels he wrote, 'People were created to be loved. Things were created to be used. The reason why the world is in chaos, is because things are being loved and people are being used.' But what if people want to be used just for the sake of having a temporary feel of acceptance; a temporary feeling of being loved. As I keep saying, we are not that hard to decipher. One has to just observe with no judgements. I wont deny being on either sides of this coin, nor I will hesitate to choose - I spent what felt like years, in this dark eternity. Just when I thought I was dripping with the shining Sun, this judgmental and perceptive society called it a Dark one!

Dark Sunshine is how,

I had been unfolding life

One blindfold at a time!